150 Witty Quotes That Have Meaningful Fragments of Words

100 Witty Quotes Have Meaningful Fragments Of Words

Witty Quotes – You are probably already familiar with the word “witty”. It is something smart and unusual from the others.

There are many things that we can laugh at, can motivate, can provide solutions and even with the power of words that can change perceptions and behavior in everyday words. It’s really extraordinary right?

From the words that we are discussing today, namely quotes, contain a piece of motivational words that can entertain, inspire, and teach.

Quotes do not only contain motivation, many quotes tell the background about ideas and anxiety, creativity and funny, also sad stories that implied in a quote.

For that, now we will laugh, smile, motivate ourselves in 150 witty quotes that give meaningful words.

Read also: 120 Patience Quotes to Create New Motivation

Witty Quotes That Have Meaningful Fragments of Words

100 Witty Quotes Have Meaningful Fragments Of Words

1. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan

2. “Knowledge is proud she knows so much; wisdom is humble that she knows no more.” – William Cowper

3. “We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.” – Anais Nin

4. “Never try to have the last word. You might get it.” – Robert Heinlein

5. “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” – Douglas Adams

6. “Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” – George Bernard Shaw

7. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov

8. “If you must make a noise, make it quietly.” – Oliver Hardy

9. “A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn’t implement any of it.” – Michael Bassey Johnson

10. “It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” – George Washington

11. “I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.” – Abraham Maslow

12. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” – Steven Wright

13. “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” – Woodrow Wilson

14. “She has all of the virtues I despise, and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

15. “There are only two great tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.” – Oscar Wilde

16. “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done.” – Unknown

17. “If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?” – John Cleese

18. “Never eat more than you can lift.” – Miss Piggy

19. “When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.” – Yogi Berra

20. “Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – Dave Barry

100 Witty Quotes Have Meaningful Fragments Of Words

21. “I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields

22. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemingway

23. “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” – Mark Twain

24. “All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.” – Steve Martin, in the film Sgt. Bilko.

25. “A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.” – William Lowe Bryan

26. “In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.” – Fran Lebowitz

27. “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” – Kurt Vonnegut

28. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

29. “You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” – Billy Arthur

30. “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns

31. “You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.” – Anonymous

32. “A gossip is a person who creates the smoke in which other people assume there’s fire.” – Dan Bennett

33. “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde

34. “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb and I also know that I’m not blonde.” – Dolly Parton

35. “We use 10% of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60%.” – Ellen DeGeneres

36. “My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.” – Billy Connolly

37. “When it doubt, look intelligent.” – Garrison Keillor

38. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein

39. “Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that.” – George Carlin

40. “User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’” – Dave Barry

100 Witty Quotes Have Meaningful Fragments Of Words

41. “If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?” – Will Rogers

42. “She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.” – Jean Webster

43. “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln

44. “By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.” – Don Herold

45. “There but for the grace of God, goes God.” – Anonymous

46. “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – Henry Clapp

47. “The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.” – Lucille S. Harper

48. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov

49. “An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, ‘So far so good!” – Anonymous

50. “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” – George Will

51. “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.” – James Branch Cabell

52. “Action will destroy your procrastination.” – Dominic Chianese

53. “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Og Mandino

54. “The Best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.” – Robert Frost

55. “Carrie Fisher quote “Instant gratification takes too long.” – Abraham Lincoln

56. “Instant gratification takes too long.” – Carrie Fisher

57. “It is not what you gather but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.” – Unknown

58. “If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.” – Helen Walton

59. “I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.” – Amit Kalantri

60. “Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” – Mark Twain


61. “Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.” – Robert J. Sawyer

62. “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.” – George Bernard Shaw

63. “Men are the sport of circumstances when it seems circumstances are the sport of men.” – Bertrand Russell

64. “I respect only those who resist me, but cannot tolerate them.” – Lord Byron

65. “George Carlin quote “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” – Charles de Gaulle

66. “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carlin

67. “We hope you enjoyed this biting collection of witty quotes and gained some humor and perspective from them.” – Conclusion

68. “An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

69. “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” – William James

70. “Action will destroy your procrastination.” – Og Mandino

71. “Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

72. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

73. “If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” – Aldo Cammarota

74. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

75. “Never criticize your spouse’s faults; if it weren’t for them, your mate might have found someone better than you.” – Jay Trachman

76. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller

77. “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” – Rod Stewart

78. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

79. “Arguing with a fool proves there are two.” – Doris M. Smith

80. “A person with a sharp tongue will eventually cut themselves.” – J. Robson Koenig

Have Meaningful Fragments Of Words

81. “A witty saying proves nothing.” – Voltaire

82. “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” – Mark Twain

83. “Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.” – Erma Bombeck

84. “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

85. “Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.” – Ralph Charell

86. “Pretending to care what men think is an art. It takes moments to learn, but lifetimes to master. I’d like to believe I’m an expert.” – Dennis Sharpe

87. “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.” – Richard P. Feynman

88. “A technicality I’m prepared to hide wildly behind.” – Jim Butcher

89. “I respect only those who resist me, but cannot tolerate them.” – Charles de Gaulle

90. “It is safer to beg than to take, but it is finer to take than to beg.” – Oscar Wilde

91. “Experience was something it was difficult to avoid, though many people had managed to keep it to a minimum.” – Philip José Farmer

92. “My mistakes are usually so enjoyable that I tend to repeat them.” – Lisa Kleypas

93. “If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.” – Judith Martin

94. “Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.” – Unknown

95. “Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” – Paula Poundstone

96. “A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” – Dave Barry

97. “Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.” – Dennis Miller

98. “When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” – Rodney Dangerfield

99. “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” – Reese Witherspoon

100. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck

Read also: 110 The Sweetest I Miss You Messages and Quotes

101. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” – Homer Simpson

102. “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.” – Unknown

103. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” – Unknown

104. “Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying.” – Unknown

105. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” – Justin Sewell

106. “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.” – Unknown

107. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

108. “If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.” – Unknown

109. “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” – Unknown

110. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” – Unknown

Have Meaningful Fragments Of Words

111. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

112. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

113. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

114. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

115. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh

117. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer

118. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright

119. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Unknown

120. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer

121. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

122. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

123. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” – Cassandra Duffy

124. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Eddison

125. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Unknown

126. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” – Audrey Hepburn

127. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Robert Bloch

128. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Marilyn Monroe

129. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

130. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

131. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke

132. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” – Unknown

133. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke

134. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite

135. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain

136. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

137. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

138. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

139. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”  – Charles Schulz

140. “Think like a proton. Always positive.” – Unknown

141. “Be happy it drives people crazy.” – Unknown

142. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand.

143. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams

144. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” – Michael Scott

145. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” – Elvis Presley

146. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

147. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

148. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” – Jason Love

149. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

150. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones

Those 150 witty quotes that relate to everyone in interpreting your own life step by step.


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