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Funny Work Quotes – We find many funny things in our daily life. Funny things that we find are very related to the daily life, such as when we work at school and others that have their own story, meaning, and learning in it.
We all always have a moment that makes us happy and laughs more. We always find these funny moments and embarrassing in society, at work or in the school.
We surely have funny moments that we all always want to share and remember the moment forever, which is full of meaning behind it.
So, this is the time we are getting to laugh together as the moment of life for remembering everything that happened as epic thing moment in life.
These quotes have full meaning for everyone’s life and might get some relate for something in your life.
For that, we will share funny and entertaining things from fragments of words in quotes that will be shared in snippets of tickling and exciting words with extraordinary meaning and discussion.
Here are 170 funny work quotes that inspire and entertain you during a relaxing time.
Read also: 100 Meditation Quotes Give Us Peace Of Mind And Soul In Life
Funny Work Quotes For Entertaining And Full Of Humor
1. “Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking.” – Anonymous
2. “The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” – Anonymous
3. “Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.” – Huey Long
4. “If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.” – Cannon’s Law
5. “Anybody, somebody or nobody is ever going to make your life any more than you are willing to do for yourself. So, stop looking around for anybody to do something for you; instead, get your own body going and get it done now.” – Byron Pulsifer
6. “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” – Ray Kroc
7. “The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.” – Bove’s Theorem
8. “The taxpayer, that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” – Ronald Reagan
9. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
10. “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.” – Alan Alda
11. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
12. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.” – Chris Rock
13. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude McDonald
14. “The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” – Dennis Miller
15. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Anonymous
16. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
17. “Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs.” – Mary Kay Ash
18. “I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” -Anonymous
19. “Getting paid to sleep, that’s my dream job.” – Anonymous
20. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” – Stanley J. Randall
21. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
22. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Homer Simpson
23. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” – Kin Hubbard
24. “There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.” – David Letterman
25. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost
26. “Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.” – Al Capp
27. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy
28. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
29. “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
30. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
31. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
32. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
33. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
34. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” – Groucho Marx
35. “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
36. “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” – Josh Billings
37. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin
38. It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” – William Faulkner
39. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
40. “You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” – Zig Ziglar
41. “As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” – Tom Goins
42. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
43. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
44. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude McDonald
45. “The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” – Dennis Miller
46. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Author Unknown
47. “There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.” – Peter Drucker
48. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
49. “Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.’ – Doug Larson
50. “Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it half-assed. That’s the American way.” – Homer Simpson
51. “Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” – Lewis Grizzard
52. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
53. “All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.” – Aristotle
54. “Beware of any enterprise requiring new clothes.” – Henry Thoreau
55. “Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.” – Unknown
56. “Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” – The Office
57. “Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful.” – Benjamin Disraeli
58. “You never become a howling success by just howling.” – Bob Harrington
59. “Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.” – TS Eliot
60. “If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.” – Benjamin Franklin
61. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.” – George Burns
62. “Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.” – Unkmown
63. “If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.” – Quentin Crisp
64. “If at first you don’t succeed, try management.” – Unknown
65. “Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.” – Dilbert
66. “Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.” – Joseph Heller
67. “Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.” – Savielly Tartakower
68. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
69. “No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.” – Groucho Marx
70. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
71. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
72. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
73. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” – Peter Drucker
74. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
75. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard
76. “I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” – Clarence Darrow
77. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
78. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” – Groucho Marx
79. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
80. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
81. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
82. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” – Peter Drucker
83. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
84. “People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard
85. “I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” – Clarence Darrow
86. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
87. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin
88. “It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” – William Faulkner
89. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
90. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
91. “As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” – Tom Goins
92. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
93. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
94. “Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.” – Anonymous
95. “People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
96. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
97. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” – Niels Bohr
98. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
99. “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.” – Muhammad Ali
100. “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
Read also: 100 Women Empowerment Quotes About Their Strength
101. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” – Anonymous
102. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.Erma Bombeck.” – William C. Feather
103. “A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” – William C. Feather
104. “The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.” – Bove’s Theorem
105. “The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” – Ronald Reagan
106. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
107. “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.” – Alan Alda
108. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
109. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.” – Chris Rock
110. “The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.” – George Bernard Shaw
111. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy
112. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
113. “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
114. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
115. ” A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Henry Kissenger
116. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
117. “Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.” – Jim Murray
118. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
119. “Why do people say they wish everyday was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” – Ed Bernard
120. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” – Don Herold
121. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
122. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
123. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
124. “His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours.” – Arthur Baer
125. “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash
126. “The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.” – Anonymous
127. “Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.” – Huey Long
128. “If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.” – Cannon’s Law
129. “Anybody, somebody or nobody is ever going to make your life any more than you are willing to do for yourself. So, stop looking around for anybody to do something for you; instead, get your own body going and get it done now.” – Byron Pulsifer
130. “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” – Ray Kroc
131. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
132. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” – Groucho Marx
133. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
134. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
135. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
136. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” – Peter Drucker
137. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
138. “People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard
139. “I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” – Clarence Darrow
140. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
141. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin
142. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” – Niels Bohr
143. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
144. “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.” Muhammad Ali
145. “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
146. “Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
147. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
148. “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
149. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
150. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” – Don Marquis
151. “Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” – J. Paul Getty
152. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” – Henny Youngman
153. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
154. “When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
155. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”- Bertrand Russell
156. “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” – Tim Notke
157. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi
158. “Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.” – Pablo Picasso
159. “An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.” – William Castle
160. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
161. “Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.” – Michel Tournier
162. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” – Scott Adams
163. “Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoret
164. “I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.” – Rita Rudner
165. “Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
166. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
167. “I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth even if it costs him his job.” – Samuel Goldwyn
168. “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Anonymous
169. “The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit.” – Dwight Morrow
170. “Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, “Certainly, I can!” Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Those 170 funny work quotes can be used as entertainment for a moment in responding to this life that is full of humor.