Messed Up Jokes – Have you ever heard of a joke that you find the most interesting? or have ever heard a joke that was judged not to be good in choosing a place to deliver it.
Yes, however, jokes are judged by their nature and the way they are delivered, so the content of the joke is usually the benchmark when you hear a joke around.
We may also be familiar with the experience of jokes that are messy in their placement or jokes that are fun and exciting, just lacking space in delivery.
For that, we will try to summarize in a variety of things that make you laugh as well as entertained from fragments of messed up sentences that can bring new and entertaining things.
Well, here are 100 messed up jokes that entertain our selection of unique and unusual jokes and also full of surprises below.
Messed Up Jokes That Are Entertaining And Unusual
1. “I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.”
2. “What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.”
3. “Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.”
4. “What do you call Snoop Dogg in a hot air balloon?
Higher than usual.”
5. “Where can you never take an orphan for dinner?
A family restaurant.”
6. “How is a sibling-like a laxative?
They both give you the shits.”
7. “Why do chipmunks make great girlfriends?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.”
8.” What do your husband and my kids have in common?
They’ve all seen my boobs.”
9. “What is the difference between a remote and a G-spot?
My husband will actually look for a remote.”
10. “Why do women rarely become copywriters?
Because there are just too many periods.”
11. “They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.”
12. “My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.”
13. “I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
14. “The most corrupt CEOs are the ones who run pretzel companies. They’re always so twisted.”
15. “What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player? A football player showers.”
16. “I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.”
17. “The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.”
18. “Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? Because he’s dead.”
19. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.”
20. “It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. But, I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.”
21. “Never break someone’s heart, they only have one of those. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.”
22. “What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.”
23. “To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.”
24. “I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.”
25. “You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.”
26. “I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.”
27. “When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
28. “What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.”
29. “I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
30. “Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.”
31. “Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.”
32. “What did the oven say to the chicken?”
“I can’t wait to have you inside me.”
33. “What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.”
34. “What is my favourite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.”
35. “Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder.”
36. “What is the difference between my girlfriend and an umbrella?
Only one of them ever gets wet.”
37. “What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.”
38.” At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.”
39. “What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.”
40. “Why is my sister named Rose?” asked the boy.
“Because your mum loves roses. You knew that already that, Cocaine.” Replied the dad.
41. “What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
42. “I just got my doctor’s test results and I’m really upset about it. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.”
43. “My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.”
44. “Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.”
45. “A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
46. “I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.”
47. “Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.”
48. “As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.”
49. “I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.”
50. “The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis.”
51. “Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.”
52. “I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.”
53. “I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.”
54. “My daughter asked me how stars die. “Usually an overdose,” I told her.”
55. “What do you call it when every one of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.”
56. “What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Not a word.”
57. “Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.”
58. “The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.”
59. “Since the pandemic started, my husband just stands there sadly looking through the window. I should probably go let him inside.”
60. “My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.”
61. “I heard Sony is coming out with a new video game console to help us get through the pandemic. It’s called the Plaguestation 5.”
62. “I’ve stopped making jokes about Covid to my brother. They flu over his head.”
63. “My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.”
64. “What is the difference between a puppy farm and a rubbish dump?
A puppy farm has more litter.”
65. “What did the spider say to the toilet?
Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!”
66. “Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.”
67. “What do you throw a racist when he’s drowning?
His wife and kids.”
68. “Who is Bill Cosby’s favourite Disney princess?
69. “What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.”
70. “Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.”
71. “What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
72. “What got four legs and a hand?
A lion in a daycare centre.”
73. “What is the difference between $50 and my kid?
I care when I lose the money.”
74. “How do you know when the dishwasher has stopped working?
She’ll be sleeping next to you.”
75. “What do you do if you see a car accident?
76. “How many rabbits does it take to keep warm?
It depends on how big their skins are.”
80. “A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
81. “My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.”
82. “What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.”
83. “I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.”
84. “When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.”
85. “Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.”
86. “My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what he’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!”
87. “Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.”
88. “It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.”
89. “Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.”
90. “How come Santa Claus is always so frustrated with Mrs Claus?
Because he only comes once a year.”
91. “What is the best joke of all time?
92. “What do you call a prawn that loves smoking cannabis?
93. “What are a terrorists favourite cartoon to watch at night?
Osamas in pyjamas.”
94. “What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.”
95. “What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame-up.”
96. “Why do cats make the perfect animal for experimentation?
Because they have nine lives.”
97. “Why do nerds like playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get.”
98. “When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.”
99. “Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.”
100. “My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.”
Read also: 103 Being Strong Quotes For Your Life
Those are 100 messed up jokes that are entertaining and provide a surprising understanding for all of us that are unusual than usual.